A Life Without You
by xoxoluvsucks22
Summary: Kageyama learns what it means to truly love Hinata and how not to take everything for granted. *NOTES* things you need: pillow, Drink, tissues and love songs playlist ;)
1. Chapter 1

**hello!**

 **I see you have found my lil fanfic ^^**

 **well, let me tell you, YOU ARE IN FOR IT!**

 **please do enjoy this story, it shouldn't be more than five or six chapters long so yeah!**

 **but do make sure that by the 1st chapter you are ready for a very dramatic feelzzzz trip**

 **HAHA**

 **here is the Prologue so yeah!**

 **update in two days!**

 **(btw the song that inspired this story was _We Are_ by _Joy Williams)_**

* * *

 _A Life Without You._

 _A Kagehina Fanfiction. _

Prologue ~

Kageyama and Hinata have been best friends and teammates for almost a year now, and all along the way they have made some amazing memories together.  
Not realizing that with every word they say to one another, they are making the other fall even more in love with them.  
And sometimes things happen for a reason.  
When it rains one day after Kageyama and Hinata stay late after practice they are forced to stay at the school until it passes. This resulting in some time alone.  
They stay in the hallways of the school and sit down.  
They start to talk and eventually get to the "Girlfriend" or "Who do you like" subject. (Hinata brought it up)

When Kageyama just shrugs it off, not daring to admit his new crush on Hinata.  
Hinata takes a chance and enthusiastically explains and describes his new "love" this caught our Kageyama off guard.

But the more and more Hinata talks about his "love" the more and more it sounds like he is describing, to Kageyama, KAGEYAMA.

But Kageyama be Kageyama he was dense and turned in a huff.

Hinata realized he said too much, but he somehow kept at it.

He explained how much he loved the person and how much he wants that person to love him back.

Kageyama gets angrily irritated and runs off.  
In the rain.

\^/ (seriously Kageyama?!)

Hinata ran after him, not wanting to lose his dear Tobio.

Hinata shouted his name, getting Kageyama to slow down with each call, until Kageyama stopped fully.

Hinata leaned down on his knees catching his breath.

Kageyama stood there staring up at the wet clouds that sent more rain down.

Kageyama smiled as tears and rain drops came down his face.

"The clouds and I…" He paused, "we understand each other."

Hinata straight up his back and stared at the taller dark haired boy.  
He huffed and grabbed Kageyama's shirt, making Kageyama face him.

"Listen! You dense, dense person!" he shouted over the rain, "You're the one I love! I'm in love you, dumbass!"

This sudden outburst from the boy caught Kageyama off guard but it made his face brighten and turn a slight shade of red.

"S-Same." Was all he could say back, as Hinata hugged him.

Rain pouring down as the two boys stood there hugging each other as if they were saying goodbye.

But little does Kageyama know how much he is taking for granted. For with just a slash of a knife, his whole world will be torn apart.


	2. Chapter 2

***yawns***

 **im so sorry. I am 11 minuets late.**

 **it is right now 12:11 AM on Monday and I said i'd update on Sunday TT~~~TT**

 **I feel horrible**

 **but here it is**

 **I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY**

 **and yeee**

 **also please leave a review and like :/**

 **THANKS!**

 **~ _Nina_**

* * *

Part one ~

It has been about a week ago, today, that Kageyama and Hinata started dating.  
Things at first were very, very awkward, especially around the team. They really couldn't do anything "couple-y" around them, without the fear of the whole team finding out.

Every day before school Hinata would always wait for Kageyama and would walk with him. And every day after school and practice Hinata would walk him back. Hinata always told Kageyama how much he loves him. In fact he thought he told Kageyama that too much.

But with every "I love you" Hinata didn't receive anything back. He would say it and Kageyama would blush a bit then turn his head, and once Hinata was certain that he saw Kageyama frown.

But Hinata never gave up; he continued telling Kageyama how much he loved him, because he was sure that Kageyama was just a bit embarrassed that's all.  
At least that is what he told himself.

But Hinata's patients' was unraveling as their relationship was hitting its two month mark. And he has yet to receive: a kiss, a hug or even simple holding of a hand. And still no, "I Love you."

One day after school, on the date of Kageyama's and Hinata's anniversary, Hinata invites him to hang out at the park. And he agrees.

Now let's cover Kageyama's feelings on this situation.  
It started on the third day of them going out when Hinata first told Kageyama that he loved him. This made Kageyama happy of course. But Kageyama couldn't help but feel a ping in his heart when he said that. As a result of Kageyama being Kageyama, he just let it slide. And when Hinata said it again the next day, the shape ping happened again, and that is when Kageyama started doubting if HE, himself, loved Hinata back.

Now, I know what you're thinking: " _OH come on! If Kageyama doesn't LOVE Hinata back then why even date him!? Why lead him on!_ "

And you are right, but only a little.

For Kageyama knew for certain that he LIKED Hinata in a romantic way. But he wasn't sure if he loved the small boy in a romantic way. So he decided not to say it back if he wasn't sure. For he didn't want to lead Hinata on, to think he loved him, cause if he doesn't love him and told him he did, he was afraid of the outcome if Hinata was to find out.

So there you have it, a very true to himself and to his heart, Hinata and a very uncertain and scared Kageyama.

Therefore here we are now; Hinata playing with the little kids at the park as Kageyama sat down on the bench and watched.

"OKAY!" Hinata announced to the group of small children around him, "I'll be 'it', and the last one standing is 'it' next, okay?"

"OKAY!" the group exclaimed then scrabbling from the counting Hinata.

Kageyama smiled as he watched Hinata interact with the group of kids so well.

' _See,_ ' he thought to himself, ' _this is something_ _ **ABOUT**_ _him that I love…_ '

It wasn't long before the sun started setting and the mothers came to get the children and Hinata was out of breath.

"I'm so sleepy…" Hinata groggily said slumping next to Kageyama.

"Then we should get you home." Kageyama stood up and grabbed both of their bags. "You coming?" he asked looking back at the "dead" boy.

"Yeah…" Hinata forced himself up, and then smiled, "hey."

"Hey."

"You know what day it is?"

"Hmm…" Kageyama thought a bit before answering, "Friday."

"Yep! So that means you can sleep over!" Hinata exclaimed jumping in the air.

Kageyama blushed, "I-I guess, but I do have some things to do in the morning…"

Hinata frowned, "Come on, Tobio ^" Hinata complained. "It's our two month anniversary too!"

Kageyama zoned out, "ann…I…ver…sary…cake…?"

"Yes Kageyama." Hinata slapped his back, "don't get off subject."

"Sorry."

"As I was saying, it'd be nice to hang out with you all night. I mean you are my Boyfriend after all."

"Y-Yeah." Kageyama said.

Then his phone rang, "hold on." Kageyama said answering it.

"Hello?"

A pause.

"Yeah? Really? Seven…!"

Another pause.

"But, mom, me and Hinata-"

An even LONGER pause.

"Fine mom." Kageyama sighed, "I love you too, bye."

He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket; Hinata reached up and pulled his bag off Kageyama's shoulder.

"What'd she say?" he asked.

"Oh, I have to go shopping for her in the morning before ***** school." Kageyama glanced at Hinata.

"Why can't she get herself…?" Hinata huffed.

"Because she is pregnant. It's hard for her, dumbass."

"Oh. So you can't stay the night?"

Kageyama shook his head slowly, "sorry, but I CAN stay late."

"Really?!" Hinata brightened.

"Yep."

"How late?"

"Eleven or so."

"Alright then!" Hinata ran forward, waiting for Kageyama. Hinata stared back at him, then smiled, "Kag-ey-am-ma~" he sang holding out his hand wide open for Kageyama to take.

But when Kageyama got to him, he glanced at the hand then back at the ground, and kept walking, his hands safely tucked inside his pockets.

Hinata just let this slide, not taking it to heart, yet.

They got to Hinata's house within a half hour; Hinata just talked the whole way there, Kageyama liked not having to talk back, for he enjoyed Hinata's voice.

When in Hinata's room, they put on a movie and Hinata jumped on his bed, patting the seat next to him.

"Come on."

Kageyama's eyes went from the seat to Hinata and back to the seat. He blushed lightly, and climbed up, but he just huddled himself up; closed off from any Physical contact with Hinata.

This is what started to make Hinata more aware of Kageyama's actions.  
Throughout the first and second movie Kageyama just held his knees to his chest, by the third movie Tanaka started a group text message. Kageyama took this "opportunity" to try and make himself comfortable. He pulled out his phone and was one it until the end of the fourth movie.

Hinata watched out of the corner of his eye how Kageyama seemed to be ignoring him and was distracting himself with the phone. Now let's get this straight, _Tanaka_ started the group chat with the whole team so that means Hinata was included and his phone was blowing up with text messages but he ignored it, for he was TRYING to spend time with Kageyama, his boyfriend. And now, he just feels ignored and really really hurt also rejected. But there was a part of him that just thought Kageyama was putting up walls, and he let that be.

Then within a blink of an eye, elven came, and Kageyama's alarm went off, notifying him it's time to leave.

Kageyama slid himself off the bed and walked to the hallway before the door and put his shoes on, Hinata trailing behind.

"I…I had a good time." Hinata said quietly.

"Yeah." Kageyama said emotionless, grabbing his bag.

"L-Let me open the door for you." Hinata said, reaching the door before him, and opened it with a smile.

"Thanks." Kageyama walked out, and then turned around to face Hinata who closed the door and was standing outside.

"Again, thanks for coming over. I really enjoyed it." Hinata gave a soft smile.

"U-Uh, yeah, no problem." Kageyama said, playing with the collar of his shirt.

Then Hinata made up his mind to break down those walls Kageyama had up tonight. He reached up and lightly pulled on Kageyama's collar and tip-toed and kissed Kageyama's cheek. Then lightly pulled away, whispering in his ear, a very quiet, yet meaningful: "I love you."

However Kageyama did something, no one should every let themselves do.

Kageyama, after Hinata said those words, stumbled backwards violently. His eyes wide as he clutched his shirt, mouth wide open but nothing coming out. For this was the first time Hinata had ever done any of the sort to him. And it shocked him.

Hinata's eyes quickly filled with tears, and he covered his mouth, shaking his head slowly.

"H-H-How come…?" Hinata said his voice low and hurt, eyes focusing on the ground.

"W-What?"

"H-How…" Hinata paused and then locked eyes with Kageyama, "HOW C-COME!" he screamed, his voice loud as tears flowed out, "Whenever I say _it_ , you know what I get back?!"

"…" Kageyama didn't say anything, but his eyes slowly grew wide at Hinata's sudden burst.

"NOTHING! Exactly! I don't even get a _freaking_ SMILE!"

Kageyama let his hands fall, he was slowly starting to regret his actions, but some part of him was still prideful.

"And you know what? IM DONE!" Hinata yelled.

Then Kageyama's chin moved as the words fell out, "What are you s-saying, Shoyo?"

Hinata paused, staring at the ground, then moved his eyes back up and stared at Kageyama, fresh tears falling.  
"I'm done." Hinata said again, his voice low but shaky, "I'm done with…with trying so damn hard, Kageyama. Goodbye." And with that he walked back into his house, closing the door lightly.

Kageyama started at the now face of the door, he clenched his knuckles and shouted at the top of his lungs,

"YOU KNOW WHAT!? I DON'T CARE! I DON'T NEED YOU!" he fixed his bag and wiped his eyes from any tears, and walked out into the street, "I don't care!" he shouted behind him.

Inside Hinata's house, Hinata sat limp on the floor, clutching the rug under him as tears fell; his back against the door. When Kageyama yelled those things, he didn't realize Hinata was still there listening, and Hinata felt like with every word, every syllable…his world just fell apart.

Kageyama got home around eleven thirty or so, and he made himself food while watching his favorite volleyball tapes, then when he was finished he went and took a shower.

He let the thoughts in his mind about Hinata flow over him, like the water coming from the shower head; it all just ran down and disappeared. So he just let the thoughts go for the night.

Before he went to bed he set his phone to charge, but before that he checked for messages, from, well, anyone.

 **No Messages.**

Is what his bright phone screen read, he sighed and set it down and climbed into his bed.

Even though he promised himself that he wouldn't let any thoughts of Hinata enter his mind, he just thought to himself a bit.

' _All I was doing…was trying to not hurt him._ ' He closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, ' _but, I guess I hurt him more than I ever had before._ '

And with that he fell into his sleep, and he was positive that he fell asleep to Hinata's voice saying, "Kageyama, I love you." over and over again.

* * *

 **NOTES:**

 **IM SORRY**

 **\O...O/**


	3. Chapter 3

**hello.**

 **im very sorry for the late update.**

 **so on Tuesday I became sick and you know that lasted until New Years Eve and yeah**

 **so HAPPY NEW YEARS HERE IS THE UPDATE!**

 **only 2 more parts then i'll put it all together in ONE BIG Paper thing XD**

 **now, don't hate me tho.**

 **(you'll know why)**

 **but DONT FORGET TO REVIEW and like :) THANKS!**

 **Also, if there are some: the Couch said "etc...**

 **it is supposed to be: The Coach said "etc...**

 **BC when I was writing i'd write Couch instead of Coach so yeee**

 **just know XP**

 **okay enjoy!**

* * *

Kageyama's eyes shot open, he sat up quickly and reached for his phone that wouldn't stop buzzing. Text message after text message came through.

Kageyama stared down at the bright screen trying to make sense of the commotion inside his phone. But with every letter and every word his eyes widened. Only four words popped out in each text.

 **Hinata, Hospital, Come and Now.**

Kageyama didn't need much evidence for this was all he needed. Kageyama stumbled out of his bed and ran for his closet pulling out joggers and a sweat jacket. While he hastily pulled on his clothes, he called Suga.

"Hello?" Suga's voice calmly answered.

"Hey!" Kageyama said through his teeth holding his sleeve, "W-W-WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Oh, Kageyama…." Suga's voice was shaky. "y-you need to come now. Its b-best."

"OKAY I WILL BUT, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HINATA!?" Kageyama roared into his phone swinging open his bedroom door and running through the hallways of his house.

"I-It's hard to explain…Kageyama, just get here quickly."

And with that Suga hung up. Kageyama redialed and redialed but Suga refused to answer.

Then hearing Kageyama run through the house his mother walked out, a worried look on her face.

"T-Tobio…what's wrong?"

Kageyama looked at his mom his eyes quickly filling with tears, "M-Mom…."

His mother could tell something happened; she went back to her room and came out again, keys in her hands.

"Here, go, drive quickly." She said giving Kageyama them.

Kageyama hugged his mother and then ran outside and drove away. His mother sat on the couch and folded her hands, "Please, let my sons friend be okay." She prayed to the heavens.

Kageyama parked the car, and jumped out it and ran inside the hospital, out of breath he went up to the information desk and spilled out his words.

"I need help, my friend is in here and I need to find him." He said almost smashing them all together.

"O-Okay," the startled desk lady said, pulling up her laptop, "y-your friends name?"

"Hinata Shoyo, age sixteen, birthday June 21st." The worried and scared Kageyama said.

After a few seconds of typing the lady looked concerned at Kageyama but then told him, "Oh I see, he is on floor three and he is in room…three-eighteen."

"Three-eighteen, got it! Thanks!" Kageyama said sprinting for the stairs, as he prayed.

When he got to the third floor, the hallways were crowded by a group of familiar people, who were arguing about something very loudly that the nurses had to try and calm them down. When one of them noticed Kageyama he told them all and they all stopped talking and looked at him. It was the whole volleyball team, and Hinata's mom and sister in the mix. Then all at once the boys shouted at the poor nurses: "LET HIM GO IN!" and with that they all bowed pointing to Kageyama.

Kageyama jogged up to them, they all stood up.

"Kageyama." Coach Ukai's voice roared over any noise as he walked out of a room.

The team sat down in the chairs as coach made his way through them all.

"C-C-Coach…w-what happened? Is Shoyo okay? Please tell me what happened…!" Kageyama said eyes searching for the orange haired boy.

Coach Ukai gave a shuddering sigh and his face looked almost emotionless but at the same time concerned for Kageyama. "G-Go in, Daichi and Suga are already in there." He said glancing at the door with the bold numbers **318** on it.

Kageyama took a deep breath and made his way, glancing at all his team members who were deathly quiet and purposely not looking at each other. Kageyama pause a moment when he saw Tanaka, who had some bandages on his hands and face; also his eyes were red from crying.

Kageyama continued and opened the door quietly, and walked in.

His eyes searching for the orange hair and the bright glowing face. But he didn't find that. What he found was under covers and the glow was gone, and a quiet Daichi and Suga hugging and silently crying.

Kageyama walked up to the bed, making Suga and Daichi look up at him as he passed. The figure under the covers was still; you could see his face and hair but the covers were up to his neck. Kageyama didn't want to believe who the person was but he had to.

Kageyama reached out to touch him but stopped and turned around and looked at Suga and Daichi. Whose eyes were also red from crying they watched Kageyama.

"I-Is this…Shoyo….?" He asked not wanting an answer.

Daichi nodded and Suga just let his head drop again.

Kageyama's eyes widened, "H-H-He's just asleep, right?" his voice was filled with hurt and a little hope.

This time Daichi let his head drop, no answer for poor Kageyama. So he just had to find out for himself.

Kageyama turned around and pulled the covers off the limp body, and he stared at him. Hinata's eyes were closed. His neither mouth nor lungs moving.

"O-Oi." Kageyama said harshly, "Wake up, Shoyo. Everyone is worried." His voice becoming unsteady, he grabbed Hinata's shoulders, "Y-You hear me? W-Wake up I said…!" he shook him, tears now falling every second, "WAKE THE HELL UP, DUMBASS!" he yelled, and his body shaking the dead boy.

Daichi sprung up and grabbed the manifesting Kageyama, pulling him back. Kageyama kicked and screamed for someone to wake up Hinata, but no one came in and Suga just stayed still.

"L-Listen!" Daichi yelled making Kageyama face him. "S-S-SHOYO'S GONE, TOBIO!" he yelled and with that Kageyama crashed into Daichi's chest clinging to it, the tears he cried were real as real could be.

"N-No…" Kageyama sobbed, "Please, no."

Then Suga stood up and fixed Hinata and put his covers back on, and then walked up to Kageyama, and held the sobbing boy.

When Kageyama was calmed Coach Ukai called a meeting in the lobby so the doctor could explain what had happened.

"Everybody," Coach started, "This, is Doctor Jinn," he pointed to the doctor, "and this is, Detective Yushin." He pointed to the nicely dressed man next to the doctor. "U-Um, they are going to explain to us…what happened, and yeah."

"Thank you, Ukai." The doctor said taking lead, "Hello everyone, I am sorry for your lose. But please bear with me as I explain Mr. Shoyo's condition and the cause, and if you can't bare it as much, please excuse yourself." Then the doctor waved over a nurse who was holding a clip board.  
"So, Hinata Shoyo was pronounced dead about…two-fifty-two AM, today. He was stabbed multiple times by a homeless man in the Quick Market, making him bleed to his death. By the time our Emergency response team got there, he was already close to his death, if it wasn't for your friend, Tanaka, he would've died instantly.

Kageyama glanced at Tanaka, who had the same blank expression on his face. He wondered why he was with Hinata.

"And he later died in the hospital about twenty minutes after." The doctor looked up from his clip board and nodded at the Detective.

The detective stepped forward a plastic bag in his hand, he bowed at the boys then started his part. "Hello, I too, am very sorry for your lose. But I feel like you all should hear this." He opened the bag and pulled out Hinata's phone.

Kageyama's eyes widened and he made fists with his hands to keep himself from crying. Suga noticed this and put a caring hand on the boys shoulder to reassure him.

The detective continued, "We, me and my crew, were looking at the crime scene and we found his belongings that were left with his body." He lifted up the phone and another Officer brought over his Tan and red hoodie, that was now spotted in blood. "From the security footage we recovered, we saw how he was in the middle of a text message, it didn't send but it was saved in his drafts. Also, the victim, recorded something, it's addressed to…" The Detective read the phone screen squinting in the process, "Tobio Kageyama?" he looked up at the group of athletes.

Kageyama raised his hand shakily, and he very quietly said, "T-That's me."

The detective looked at him with a spectacle eye, "And what is YOUR relationship with him?"

"U-Uh, I'm his…" he paused and wondered.

What WAS he to Hinata anymore? They broke up, that's what he thought and they were best friends before they started dating but now, Kageyama wasn't sure. And with Hinata gone now, there really was no way to figure it out.

Then Daichi stood up, "Kageyama-kun and Shoyo were the best of friends." He chuckled then smiled, "They were so close they pretty much were soul mates." Everyone around them nodded in agreement.

Kageyama felt tears daring to break free. The detective held out the hoodie and the phone for Kageyama to take. Kageyama stared at it, still in doubt with himself; he grabbed them and sat down.

The doctor and Detective continued to talk, but Kageyama wasn't paying attention. He just stared at the blood stained hoodie in his hands, and wondered how many memories were stuck in there.

The meeting was over, and everyone started to leave one by one. And Kageyama still sat in his chair holding onto the only things of Hinata he had left.

"Eh, Kageyama-Kun." A small voice said.

Kageyama looked up from the jacket and there standing in front of him was Hinata's little sister.

"O-Oh, h-hi." Kageyama said; tears on the verge from the shock of how much she had Hinata's looks.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for Hinata getting so mad." She whispered.

Kageyama's eyes widened, "You…heard?"

"Yeah, I also heard Hinata when he left for the store." She paused and pulled out a tiny piece of paper in her hand she held it out to him, "Here, Hinata was shopping…for your birthday present."

Kageyama stared at the paper and took it with shaking hands; he nodded once and off ran the little girl with Hinata's mom.

Kageyama slowly opened up the paper with trembling hands.

 ** _Tobio's Birthday Present._**

 ** _1\. Colorful socks._**

 ** _2\. A CD of all of our songs._**

 ** _3\. Printouts of our favorite photos together._**

 ** _4\. FOOD TO FATEN HIM UP. (that big dummy ^)_**

Kageyama stared, the handwriting alone made him hurt, but what hurt most was how even though they fought and "broke up" Hinata still went shopping.

Kageyama suddenly stood up, his chest felt tight. The hallway was spinning, he couldn't breathe, and his eyes wouldn't focus.

"I…need air…" he mumbled to no one in particular and stumbled for the courtyard, begging his body to contain the tears.

* * *

 **NOTES**

 _ **im sorry \O_O/**_

 **DONT FORGET TO REVIEW! I LIKE YOUR FEEDBACK!**

 **~N _ina_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Lemme say.  
that this story is based off a true one. my story. **

**i'll explain more in the next update, but for now, please enjoy this.**

 **and the last part ill be out in about 2 weeks or so, that good?**

 **so, yes.**

 **um, in this chapter there is this part, and i'm pretty sure you'll know when, but I advise you to listen to the song _"You'll be okay" By a Great Big World._**

 **bc that was the inspiration.**

 **thanks for reading!**

 **~ _Nina_**

* * *

Kageyama burst through the doors into the Courtyard outside. It was cool and chill outside a slight wide that grazed his head. Kageyama pulled out the little shopping list Hinata made and stared at it. His eyes quickly became blurry as the tears just flooded into his eyelids.

"Oh my god…" Kageyama said, stumbling forward as he felt his stomach drop.

He just realized how he'll never see Hinata, ever again. How this is the truth to what happens in the real world. Kageyama never truly understood what it meant to "take someone for granted" but now, Kageyama knew exactly what it meant.

' _I love you…_ ' he faintly heard Hinata's voice echoing in his head.

"N-No…" Kageyama turned around, looking for where the voice came from.

' _Tobio, I love you._ '

"H-Hinata, where are you…?"

' _I'm…done._ '

Kageyama stopped turning in circles and realized his search was over. It was all over. His eyes widened.  
"OH FUCKING GOD NO!" he yelled grabbing his head screaming into the ground as he fell to his knees. "Please!" he begged the skies, "BRING HIM BACK!"

Kageyama clutched the hoodie in his arms. He lowered his nose into the cloth and could faintly smell Hinata on it.  
NO!" he screamed again, "NO NO!" he stood up, "GOD FUCKING DANMIT! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" he sobbed, "COME BACK! I LOVE YOU!"

Kageyama's voice was loud as he sat in the grass hunched over gripping onto his sanity. He finally realized that he did in fact love Hinata, but now his chance was gone.

" _Damnit_ " he cursed.  
He didn't want to face reality and he wasn't going to; or so he thought.

It has been a week since the death of Hinata, the team didn't practice even the school let them off for a while to mourn.

And our dear Kageyama lay in his bed each morning, noon and night, not eating, not sleeping, just thinking, and not letting go of the bloodstained hoodie.

One day as Kageyama sat up for the first time in days, the phone -that belonged to the lost Hinata- in the small plastic, bag buzzed.

His eyes stared at his desk as the phone buzzed two more times. Kageyama stood up and walked over there, sitting in his desk chair, he pulled out the phone. His expression was blank as he checked to see what made it buzz.

 **LOW BATTERY**

The screen read. Kageyama sighed and got up to grab his charger. He hooked it up then clicked the home screen on the phone.

Then to his surprise the home screen was a picture of Hinata and him. Hinata smiling and him, not paying attention.

Kageyama covered his mouth with his hands, this was the first time he'd seen a picture of Hinata since that night at the hospital.

He clicked on the messages.

He saw how Hinata had a draft saved.

"Do I really want to?" he asked himself as he clicked on it.

The message was to Kageyama.

 **To:** Tobio (My RainCloud).  
 **Sub:** I'm sorry, but I still want to try and make this work.

Hey, Tobio.  
I'm sorry, truly I am. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for not saying "it" back.  
When I know that you do, it just would be nice to hear you know?  
So that's why I'm making the decision to stay with you. And I promise to let you take your time.  
But you have to promise me that once you figure out whether you love me or not to tell me right away.  
so yes, I love you Tobio Kageyama, and I don't think that'll ever change XD  
and I will wait for as long as it takes for you to say

The message stopped there. Kageyama tried to look for the other part if it was there but no use.

"Shit." He cursed laying his head on the desk and banging it with one fist.

Then his phone rang.  
He fell out of his chair form the startle and reached up to his dresser and grabbed it.

"H-Hello?" he said, his voice low and his throat stung for the after effect of crying for days started to appear.

"Tobio," Suga's soft voice came through.

"H-Hey." Kageyama said his throat tightening as memories from the hospital filled his mind.

"We are having….Hinata's funeral today."

Kageyama stayed silent.

"And I think you should be there, a lot of people will be there. A-And, I think, Hinata would want you there, right?" Suga pursed his lips together waiting for Kageyama's answer.

"Okay." Kageyama said chewing the inside of his cheek.

Before hanging up Kageyama asked a question, "w-what should I wear?"

Suga paused before answering, "Something, Hinata always wanted you to wear but you never would, how's that?"

Kageyama simply smiled- for the first time in ever- and said an appropriate goodbye and hung up his phone.

He stood up and slowly walked to his closet, he slid open the door and stared at the rack of old unworn cloths. He shoved his hands into the mob of clothing and started moving around coats, shirts and pants that were hung. Then he came across- hung neatly on the far left of his closet- a Dark Maroon Jacket that came with a Blood-Red, Orange and Blue colored Scarf. Those two pieces of clothing were some of the first things Hinata gave to him. Oh, how Kageyama remembered the day Hinata gave them to him.  
One day Hinata's mother handed Hinata those two pieces but when he tried them on they were too big for him, so he Rode his bike to Kageyama's house and literally just hung them up in his closet. Kageyama could care less at that time, but he told the happy boy that he would never wear them, because, "Maroon is not his color" then Hinata would shoot back a flashing smile, with red cheeks saying: "I think Maroon would make you even more Handsomer".

Oh yes, the memory was as clear as day in his mind, Kageyama, took a shaky breath and with a shaky hand, grabbed the set of two and laid it out on his bed.

He walked out of his room, startling his mother with his presence and went straight to the washroom.

"It's time to say goodbye, huh?" His mother whispered into the closed door at Kageyama.

Kageyama paused as he was pulling off his shirt, "I…guess." He said then drenched himself- and his thoughts in water.

After the bath and getting dressed Kageyama stared at himself in the mirror. The Maroon jacket was neatly covering the plain black shirt he had on, his black jeans matched also. He took a deep breath before wrapping on the finishing touch- the scarf.

His phone alarm went off; reminding him he had to leave. He grabbed Hinata's blood stained jacket, the phone and the tape recorder and ran out the house.  
Scared as to what was to come.

The funeral was held outside, right in front of Hinata's burial, a crowd of over thirty people stood, listening to his parents speak. But Kageyama just stood there, next to Suga and Daichi and the team, in a daze, some might say. The type of daze where you can't really focus on what the main subject is, and all you could think of is, nothing.

Hinata's parents then called forward anyone who had anything to put by the tombstone, and one by one someone laid a flower or something of the sort. Coach Ukai and Sensei lay in a plastic cover Hinata's Volleyball Uniform. Azumane and Yuu, crying, hand in hand walked up and placed Hinata's water bottle there. Then, lastly, it was Kageyama's turn. He slowly walked up and knelt down and placed Hinata's jacket and phone down and before he walked away he lightly kissed the top of the tombstone. All the while keeping a straight face.

After Hinata's parents closed, everyone broke off from the spot slowly one by one.

"Kageyama," Yamaguchi's soft voice came.

"H-Hello." Kageyama said, a little startled.

"Um, I was wondering if, maybe you wanted to come to my place." Yamaguchi paused and look over at the rest of the volleyball team, "W-Well, everyone else is. My mom is making some food, and we're just gonna hang out."

Kageyama, gave Yamaguchi a small smile, and then bowed, "Thank you for your offer," he stood up, "but I'm sorry, I'd just…really like to be alone for a while."

Yamaguchi wasn't good at hiding the concerned look on his face, "oh, okay then." He waved bye as he walked back to the group.

Kageyama then turned around and started walking, nowhere in particular.

As he walked out of the cemetery he went in a very familiar direction. The direction he and Hinata went on their first date. He didn't count it as one, because of how much of an asshole boyfriend he was, but Hinata did. It was the bridge that crosses the big bay. He remembers how Hinata always loved that bridge, especially in the fall and winter. Hinata told him how when he is standing on the bridge overlooking the bay and some wind goes into his face; he told him how it feels like he is flying.

Kageyama continued walking on the bridge, and then shoved his hands into his pockets. But stopped short when he felt something in his right one. He pulled out the mysterious form and held it out. It was the tape recorder; with a piece of tape on it that said, _Kageyama_ , in very scribbly hand writing. He recognized those letters. The way they each had their own…special little spark at the end. He knew it was Hinata's handwriting.

He pulled out some earphones from his other pocket and connected them to the small gray recorder. He put the earphones in his ears, and pressed play.

"Kageyama," Hinata's voice came out soft and sweet but it felt distant. "I am making this recording to help remind you, that you're not alone, and how you never will be, as long as I'm still here!"  
Kageyama could hear the smile in Hinata's voice. He leaned against the overlook of the bridge, and listened with his heart content.

"So, for those days when you feel like it all is crashing down, I want to remind you that…You'll be okay."

There was a pause, then he heard a piano in the background and the soft melody started; Kageyama's eyes widened. He knew this song. Hinata's small voice then came.

"You'll be okay. You'll be okaaayy~ the sun will rissssee~ to better days. And change will come. It's on its waaayy~ Just close your eyesss~ and let it rain. Cause you're never alone! And I will always be theeere~ you just carry on, you will understand. You'll be okay~" Hinata's voice continued, but Kageyama let his mind wander.

As he listened, as Hinata's voice rose and fell with the melody of the soft song. He remembers the day Hinata showed him this song. It was after he isolated himself in his room for three days when Hinata went away. And how Hinata, broke into his house through his bedroom window one night and let him cry on his lap. Then he would slowly hum and then would sing those lyrics- ever so perfectly.

Then Hinata's voice became strong and loud as he sang the chorus, "And I'll be strongggg! When love is gonnneee! And I'll carry on…." His voice became soft again, Kageyama felt his body move on its own, and he was climbing.

"You'll be okay!" Hinata sang, Kageyama listened, and closed his eyes as Hinata sang "just close your eyes! And let it rain!"

He breathed in, a Hinata's last verse came, "You'll be okay, you'll be okay, and you'll be okay."

The song ended, and Kageyama looked down at the bay below him. He was standing on the railing of the overlook. He listened closer to the sound of Hinata's breathing. And closed his eyes again.

"Kageyama," Hinata spoke once more, "I love you." Hinata said then the tape ended.

Kageyama started breathing short breaths. His mind was racing, he couldn't concentrate. He wasn't thinking normally, he was unsure of himself. But one thing he was sure of was: how much he wanted to see Hinata. Hinata. Hinata. Hinata. His best friend, his boyfriend, his soulmate and teammate. His world- no. His _universe_. He wanted to hold him. Touch him in many ways he hasn't before. Kiss every part of his fragile body. Stare into the eyes with that burning fire. And hold him close to his heart.

Yes. He was sure of it. All he wanted was to see Hinata.

Kageyama stared down at the waters below him.

"It would hurt." He told himself as he got the closest he could to the edge.

"But," he found himself talking back to himself, "not as painful as loosing Hinata, no?"

"No. Hinata… he…" Kageyama felt tears fall.

He looked into the sky, it was almost dark. He closed his eyes and pictured Hinata. He was smiling at Kageyama, he had angel wings on his back and he held out his hand saying in his soft words, "Come Kageyama, love me. Please." And Kageyama smiled. A genuine smile.

"I'm coming." He said.

One last tear fell off his face, and the smile disappeared as he fell.

He fell into the night sky.

Not thinking.

Not hoping.

Just dreaming.

Of Hinata.

Oh, his Hinata.


	5. Chapter 5 (part 1 of 2)

**_Question. how many of you...cried?_**

 ** _XP_**

 ** _im sorry I put you all through that, but I just had to! XP_**

 ** _I mean, its a good story right? well, at least so far._**

 ** _are you guys enjoying it so far?_**

 ** _is there anything you wished was different?_**

 ** _how about, do you guys WANT to hear about the true story behind this one?_**

 ** _also, any special requests, I guess?_**

 ** _CUZZZ my ask box is ALWAYS open! XD_**

 ** _please enjoy this lil part, im sorry it took so long, life had just been all...BSLNK;KVFBHK, ALOT recently so yeee._**

 ** _see the end for more notes!_**

 ** _~Nina._**

* * *

"OH MY GOD NO!" Kageyama sat up in his bed. It was wet. Not the "you just peed yourself" wet. Sweat and tears wet.

He pinched himself, and blinked a few times.

"I died." He told himself.

He remembered. Remembered crying. The pain. The team and Hinata's parents. Most of all he remembered Hinata. Hinata Dying. The funeral. The bridge. The song. The tears. The jump. And the fall.

"I died," He paused, and looked over at his alarm clock, "right?"

 **SAT. 16** **th** **. 5 AM.**

Is what the clock blared into his room.

His eyes widened. He covered his mouth, to keep himself from screaming. He fell face first into his pillow, he gripped it. The pain came back. The pain from the pain of Hinata being gone.

"NO!" he screamed his loudest into the pillow, "NO! WHY!? WHY!? OH GOD PLEASE! He can't be GONE-"

"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP, TOBIO!?" Kageyama sat up again and stared at his pissed off short pregnant mother.

His eyes widened then, his facial expression became very confused.

"Mom," he started, "why are you not sad!?"

She just glared at him and waved her arms around very theatrically-like. "Why would I be sad!? YOU should be sad!"

Kageyama's face fell, "I knew it." He rubbed his eyes.

"Don't cry! You just have to go shopping!"

"T-That's not it…Hinata…he's…"

"He's probably at home, still asleep. Probably, not yelling AT FIVE A.M ON A SATURDAY!" His mother marched out and slammed his door.

He sat there dazed.

' _Wait._ ' He thought to himself. ' _Could it be…?_ '

He reached for his phone, no messages.  
' _That…it was a dream._ '

Kageyama showered and got dressed into his school uniform, still not believing that it all had been a dream. He walked into the kitchen and sat at the table as his mom cooked him some breakfast.

He felt her gaze on him more than a few times. He couldn't concentrate on anything; he just stared at his hands trying to think.

"Tobio," his mother spoke softly as she placed the plate of food in front of him.

"Mom," he replied as he watched her slowly sit herself in the seat across from him.

She stared at him with concern for her son. She took a sip of the small glass of orange juice before she talked.  
"Well, aren't you going to tell me why you were crying and screaming in your sleep all night?"

Kageyama felt his face grow somewhat red and he looked down, ashamed and lost.

"I…it's hard to explain, mom." He sputtered out after a few shaky breaths.

She smiled softly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and leaned forward.

"Go ahead." She smiled at him, making Kageyama fill with happiness.

And so, he told her about everything that happened in the dream, and also about how he and Hinata got into a fight before he got home last night. Kageyama's Mom knew about him and Hinata, she loved it, the idea of him and Hinata together, but she knew Kageyama wasn't going to be the best at being in a relationship. And the reason was because he was so much like his father when it came to love. But as Kageyama told her the story she realized that he was opening up on his true feelings for Hinata, and she smiled at that.

"Mom, how do I fix it?" he asked her, his eyes pleading for help.

She took a small breath and smiled even bigger.  
"You just be you, and I promise," She cupped his chin, "he'll take you back, and you two will grow together into something amazing." She kissed his forehead and slowly stood back up.

"Thanks mom." Kageyama stood up also helping her bring the dishes to the sink.  
"So, does dad know yet?"

Kageyama's mom stopped for half a second in her footsteps but continued, "Well, having to hear that his son is gay over the phone isn't the best way, but I still told him."

 **Now, Kageyama's Dad is in the stock business, and he is the "Go to man" for when someone in that company has to travel, so he does. He is currently in America, but before he left he got Kageyama's Mom pregnant, and he has been gone six months and wasn't there to find out about Kageyama and Hinata. THAT IS ALL. Continue on…**

Kageyama slightly frowned, "Oh, how'd h-he take it?"

His Mom laughed a little, "Oh you know, with some smart-ass remark about how the next one better be Straight!" she laughed.

Kageyama smiled and put a hand on his Mom's stomach, "you hear that lil Bro, you better like girls, if not we're in BIGG trouble."

This made his Mom laugh again; Kageyama then kissed her goodbye and grabbed his bag and some money.

"I'll drop the groceries off here on my way to school okay?" he asked walking out the door.

She nodded, "good luck!" she yelled after him.

"Yeah," he said to himself, "I'll need a lot."

* * *

 **NOTES**

 **um, well yeah, so part 2 will be out in 2 days time and that SHOULD be the last part! YAY!**

 **hope you enjoyed this part, I know I loved writing it, BC I love thinking of Characters and that is just what I did with Kageyama's mother. so yup.**

 **please, comment and review, thanks! I love you all!**

 **~Nina**


	6. Chapter 5 (part 2 of 2)

**HEYYY**

 **so, here it is, the last thing for this, well, what was SUPPOSED to be a one shot XD LMAooo**

 **Anyway, i'm sorry about how messily written this last chapter is.**

 **I was kinda in a rush these last few days, eheheh...**

 **ANYWAY**

 **I hope you all have like the ride, and stuff...**

 **and there WILL be an afterward for this, so look out for it.**

 **and in the notes section, i'm going to put the True story behind this so, go ahead a read it if you want :\**

 **PLEASE review! AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS! THANKS!**

 **~Nina**

* * *

Kageyama walked into the small store a tiny paper with crammed words on it in his hands. He went to the milk aisle and then to the Seasoning aisle, but he stopped dead in his track when he got towards the back where the Refrigerated Drinks were. A quick scene flashed in his mind, but it felt like it was forever, it was black and white all around him the people around him weren't there as he stared ahead of him. He watched was an Orange haired small boy was stabbed and as he fell; he watched as the man who did so ran away. Then it all blurred and Kageyama was brought back to reality. His eyes were filling with tears, but he rapidly wiped them away and continued shopping.

When he finished Kageyama practically jogged back to his house, and dropped the groceries off, he grabbed his bike and road to school. All the way there he thought of how he was going to win Hinata back.

' _What do I do?_ ' he asked himself as he stopped at a stop light.

He pulled out his iPod and shoved his earphones in, and right when he hit play the perfect song came on. ' _Please don't say you love me_ ' oh, that perfect song. The song that he wishes Hinata would listen to, for it was his heart in a song.

He smiled at himself as he silently sang along. He road into the outside entrance of the school and hoped off his bike and set it on the far wall of the Gym.

He ran inside the school lockers and slipped on his shoes, and ran into his classroom eager to see the boy. But he was let down, for no Hinata was there, he was always there early. But today Hinata wasn't. Kageyama sat in his seat, and pulled out a paper to write down how he was going to get Hinata back.

Quickly the time passed and the teacher came in.

"Okay, everyone please sit down and we will start." The teacher said, getting up to go close the door.

Kageyama looked around and didn't see any Orange hair. He stood up out of impulse making his chair clatter.

"U-Um!" he said, making the teacher stop and look at him.

"Yes, Kageyama?" The teacher lazily asked.

"U-Um, can you wait to close the door for a minute or two…?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

Kageyama blushed a bit, "B-Because…" he pointed to Hinata's usual seat that was empty, "Hinata, isn't here yet, and he said he would be, no, he promised me so please-"

But Kageyama was cut off by a huffing breathless Orange haired boy in the doorway.

"I-I'm…h-here." Hinata wheezed, walking up to the Teacher and bowing.

"Good, if it wasn't for your, Friend," the teacher nodded at Kageyama, "you would've been late."

Hinata stared at Kageyama, but turned his head away and headed for his seat. Kageyama felt a light brush come upon his face. Hinata had bags under his eyes; he also didn't look like he slept well last night.

' _hm. I guess we both didn't._ ' Kageyama said to himself opening his text book.

"Okay," the teacher stood up, "for the last part of today's class we are going to do our Deep-Poems."

A groan came from the class except from Kageyama; he just stared blankly at the teacher. Then, the biggest mind asteroid burst inside his head, he didn't do his homework all the way!

"As, you all know, Thursday I gave you all two days to find a poem, memories it and be ready to recite it today." The teacher looked at a sheet of paper, "okay, first is…" and so he called out names of students and they each came up and did what they had to.

And slowly, Kageyama was dreading his turn. And then his name was called.

"Kageyama Tobio." The teacher said motioning him forward.

Kageyama awkwardly stumbled up in front of the class and stared at his feet, trying to think.

He then looked up and saw Hinata watching him, and it was confirmed: Hinata's eyes were red from crying last night and he also had dark bags under them. Kageyama sighed, and then straightened his back, but before he turned and asked his teacher,  
"Hey, can I like, say my OWN poem? Like one I created?"

The teacher looked at him with scrutinizing eyes but nodded in agreement.

Kageyama faced the class again, cleared his throat and locked his eyes on Hinata.

 _"_ _It's like your screaming. And no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed. That someone could be that important. That without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless. Like nothing can save you. But when it's over and it's gone. You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back. So that you could have the good."_ Kageyama was still staring at Hinata.

Hinata's eyes were wide and were filling with tears all over again. Kageyama stared back, but Hinata turned away and stood up.

"T-t-teacher…!"

"Hm? Now what?" the teacher asked, rolling his eyes at Hinata.

"C-C-Can I go to the infirmary…?" Hinata's face was growing red as he felt Kageyama's eyes burning into his head.

"Well, class is almost over, so I guess not." The teacher called out another name as Hinata started walking out.

But before Kageyama sat down he told the teacher how he needed to go with Hinata so he made sure he would get there safe and the teacher could careless so of course Kageyama ran after Hinata.

"Hinata!" Kageyama yelled through the hallways as he ran after the sprinting Hinata.

Hinata didn't want to hear anything. He ignored Kageyama with his life. Kageyama didn't know how much pain Hinata went through within just sixteen hours. And he didn't know how to talk with Kageyama anymore.

' _Why is he chasing me?_ ' he thought to himself, ' _he wants nothing to do with me…nothing._ '

Hinata burst through the doors of the school and ran towards the gym. He was ahead of Kageyama now and was pretty sure he could find a safe place to sit alone over there somewhere.

So, Hinata went all the way to the left side of the gym, next to the small tree that gave just enough shadow for two people. He sat over by it and rested.

He didn't want to see Kageyama. He couldn't bear with it when he saw him in class, he wanted to run, but he didn't. Then, Kageyama said that poem, that stupid poem. Hinata remembered that poem. Hinata had it posted on his wall, and would always see Kageyama staring at it, but whenever he asked Kageyama why, Kageyama would turn back around saying it was nothing. He didn't think Kageyama memorized it.

He laid his head against the tree and stared at the somewhat cloudy sky.

"It looks like its gonna rain," Hinata said to the air around him, "I want to cry. Same dif, right?" Hinata rubbed his swollen eyes and sighed a very shaky sigh.

"Shoyo Hinata." The voice rang in his ears loudly.

Hinata was startled so bad that he jumped to his feet; just to see the out of breath Kageyama standing there heaving heavy Breaths.

He wanted to run, but he didn't. What was he waiting for?

"Shoyo," Kageyama took a step forward and Hinata took one back. Kageyama's expression was hurt.

Hinata saw that and his eyes widened.

"Please, listen." Kageyama begged.

Hinata found himself nodding, and stood still staring at the ground as he listened to the wind move through the trees.

Kageyama slightly smiled, and took a breath. He tried to have it all planned out but some things, don't go as planned. So, he decided to say, what was on his chest.

"One: I'm sorry." He started, "two: Don't die on me. Three: Please, promise me. That you won't cry again. Four: I'm a terrible person- no I'm an asshole."

He earned a chuckle form Hinata. He smiled and continued.

"You know," he looked into the sky, "I had a dream last night, you…you died, and you were gone. Like REALLY gone, and I…I was a mess. A total mess. And I realized that, if I ever lost you again, I would die. And I also realized, how much," he paused and took a breath and stared at Hinata making him lock eyes, "I'm in love with you." A single tear escaped his eye and he weakly smiled, as more threatened to break free.

Hinata's eyes widened, and tears burst. His whole body was trembling as his shaking reached up to try and stop the overflow of tears.

Kageyama panicked and went up to him, pulling away his hands and wiping the tears with his sleeve.

"What happened to not crying?" he chuckled softly.

"I-I'm not g-g-good at those promises…!" Hinata said through small hiccups.

"Why are you crying?"

"B-B-BECAUSE!" Hinata hiccupped real big, "y-you suck at lying! I didn't p-promise you crap…!" Hinata chuckled a bit.

He was happy, so happy he was crying. And he thought it was funny, because he had a very similar dream last night also.

' _I'm happy…but, what if, he is just saying that…because, oh I don't know…_ '

But his small thoughts and doubts were interrupted by the feeling off something warm against his shaking body. Hinata's eyes widened as he realized Kageyama was holding him and his head was on Kageyama's chest. He could hear Kageyama's heart, it was beating so fast. He always wanted to hear it too.

Kageyama pulled away and stared down into Hinata's wide eyes; and for the first time since last night a blaze lite in his eyes.

"There's the fire." Kageyama said smiling, "Now, Shoyo, would you please take me back. For I am not afraid anymore. I know what my heart is saying to me, and I promise to love you."

Hinata stared at Kageyama, not believing it. He didn't want to let himself, not after what happened, he wasn't sure.

"P-P-Prove it…" Hinata whispered his face blushing.

Kageyama blushed, and nodded. He grabbed Hinata's hands and pulled him towards the school.

"H-Hey!" Hinata said as Kageyama pulled him, "W-WHAT are you doing?!"

"I'm-I'm going to prove how much I love you!" Kageyama burst into the school doors and ran up the many flights of stairs.

Hinata's face grew red, "E-EHHH!?"

Kageyama got to the top: the roof; and he let go of Hinata's hand and ran to the edge of the railing.

He breathed in, and shut his eyes.

' _This is it; I'm going to prove to him…._ '

He raised his hands to his mouth and cupped them.

He took one big breath in and…

"I, TOBIO KAGEYAMA AM IN-" But he was cut off.

He was pulled backward and fell onto his back, on top of Hinata.

"WHY'D YOU PULL ME BACK, SHOYO!?" he complained, sitting up, his face still bright red.

Hinata grabbed Tobio's face a made him look right into his face.

"Listen! I know now that your serious!" he pointed at the railing, "You were gonna scream it to the world! But, why not just say it…to me..." Hinata blushed, "again. Then, I'll take you back."

Kageyama softly smiled and put his hand around Hinata's small neck and whispered the quietest whisper ever.

"I love you, Shoyo Hinata." He pulled away and stared at Hinata. "You're crying again…" he said wiping off the tears with his sleeve again.

"B-Because, I'm happy, I'm so glad." Hinata said making Kageyama stop, "you have no idea, Tobio."

Then, our Kageyama did something Hinata never expected him to, he lightly pulled Hinata's head close and lightly, ever so sweetly, he kissed Hinata's forehead. Making his promise official. (Well, at least to Hinata.)

"I love you too" Hinata whispered back as Kageyama pulled away.

And for the rest of that school day, the two boys lay there on their backs hand in hand, laughing and talking.

For this wasn't their ending, it was just their beginning.

* * *

 ** _NOTES_**

 **well, here is the true story behind this one, enjoy :)**

 _ **It was late August, and I was just reading a text from my Best Friend and well, the person I was in LOVE with, Ben.**_

 _ **he was joking about some of his friends in the text. we did that a lot. make fun of people, in a nice way.**_

 _ **I responded to him.**_

 _ **ten minuets passed.**_

 _ **twenty.**_

 _ **thirty.**_

 _ **an hour.**_

 _ **two hours.**_

 _ **and no reply. okay, something was up.**_

 _ **I called his phone three times, no answer and his home, no answer.**_

 _ **then I get a text at eleven PM, from HIS Friend Beck.**_

 _ **"hey, Your Nina, right?"**_

 _ **I replied yes.**_

 _ **and not a minuet later is when I get this text.**_

 _ **"Something happened to Ben. he was found at home at 8:42 PM stabbed multiple times, by a man, who had yet to be identified. Im sorry."**_

 _ **at first, I didn't believe him, so I called Bens siblings.**_

 _ **and sure enough...Ben, was gone.**_

 _ **Ben, my best friend for four years, by first REAL crush, my first kiss (even tho we weren't dating) and he was the first person I ever fell in love with. and, I never go the chance to tell him that, that, I, loved him.**_

 _ **it felt like my world fell apart and oh, how I wished, I had the chance to tell him.**_

 _ **and at his funeral, I felt like it was my fault, but it wasn't, I learned that.**_

 _ **and so, 4 months later, I was reading everything that happened, and I felt that Urge to talk to him, but I knew I couldn't. and I wondered, what it would be like, if I DID tell him.**_

 _ **I wondered about what we would be.**_

 _ **I wondered a lot!**_

 _ **and I even woke up some days hoping, praying it all was a dream.**_

 _ **but it wasn't.**_

 _ **and to get past it, I decided to write a story about it. but with a happier ending. MY ending.**_

 _ **and today, I am okay. sure I still think and hope about him, but I know he would want me to move on.**_

 _ **so I am.**_

 _ **I, Nina, am moving on.**_

 _ **and this is how I did it.**_

 **so there.**

 **sorry its a bit depressing, it was hard to write but, it helped.**

 **and this story got the ending I wanted!**

 **:)**

 **I hope you all enjoyed it.**

 **it was joy to write.**

 **look out for the AFTERWARD!**

 **~Nina.**


End file.
